GAS MASKS for my EMOTIONS

 
   One of the most interesting thing about the 20 something journey is that we approach LOVE from a "matured" angle or  so it appears to seem…that the reason our "1st Love" never worked out was 'cus we fell for what seemed to be "The beatings of our heart" and "The explosions of our emotions" with their every touch, We only wanted to feel not understand. Hence, problem arose…


        Reality Check, 20 something journey made us twice that fool…Old but Young at heart… Experienced so they say but then again, Love fucked us up everytime…LOVE in generality became an embodiment of emotions, Happy-sad, Bright-dull, Angry-calm all at once it left us confused of how we respond to it, Like the New Generation "Menstrual Moodswingers"…And just like that "UNDERSTANDING" grew a thick skin and became THE PROBLEM…


           I remember my 20 something experience, I literally decided to go "UNDERSTANDING" all in…make a beautiful memory out of the LOVE I felt 'cus my life was at a stage where it needed a feel of normalcy, a reminder that I wasn't too fastracked and my LIFE wasnt running a program without me…"Phew"…It started out fine and my caring trips were making waves for me, real sleek waves till my close friends started getting a clear identity of who she was before me, STAY WITH ME…
                 

         So in reality, They found out lies in the TRUTH she told me, the truth I was thought to be understanding but I shoved it aside 'cus you see,  I was all petty and all about being the perfect gentleman…In actual fact, I lent a listening ear to the lies she told me, the ones I chose to understand, Till the lies became a boat that kept her safe while it made me the fool…It all came crashing down when our 1st fight broke out and she came all out on me with attitudes I'd never known…All I did was stare in awe at a stranger I'd come to know as my girlfriend…Just so you know, That fight opened doors to many others till it became toxins and I started to die inside from the poison of her words, her lies…


        I chose UNDERSTANDING and ignored the real facts of her being with the, "She'll change" mentality…I got out of it though but not sane, I got out with a scarred memory of the traumas of a failed LOVE life…



        It's been 4 months now, Now I know better, Now I see better…'cus you see, It wasn't just that my emotions were weak or that I never listened, neved cared…It was simply 'cause of the fact that they  (my EMOTIONS) were exposed to toxins it couldn't handle, apparently, the 20 something journey still had a lot for me


        Maybe this journey stole something from me, maybe it didn't…maybe It still has a lot teach me, Maybe it never really does…All I just know is that I aint guna be made the fool twice anymore, so here is to emotions without toxins…


      You know, My father alwayz said…A man is defined by what he wears, what he is adorned by

Here is to pain I'd never feel again
Here is to Filters for my Emotion
Here is to the pink suit and gas mask
Here is to me,
The guy,
The introvert
…

Cc: @denolagrey

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